Okay, so here's the situation. We have been working on potty-training Aiva for the last several months. Little did I know when I started this process that it is just that . . . a PROCESS. Not an event in itself. #1 has gone fairly smoothly beyond the occasional accident. Our problem is with the "other kind." She will have NOTHING to do with the toilet in that regard. I can tell when she needs to go. She complains of a stomach ache and then hides to do her "duty." We used to try to get her to use the toilet when we saw the signs, but she totally freaks out. Then we started getting mad. We'd put her in the tub and wash her off with cold water, so she didn't get to have a "fun" bath afterward. Then I did some research online and found that everything said to NOT punish or make them feel bad in ANY way. So then, we resorted to bribing. At the present time, if she will just go #2 in the potty ONCE, she will get a movie, ice cream, pizza, stickers, and will get to go swimming in her Papa's hottub, her favorite thing to do. She can happily quote the list of rewards for you, but when it's go time . . . she is not the least bit inclined to even ATTEMPT using the toilet. I now have her trained, most of the time, to at least ask for a diaper so that I don't have to clean out dirty underpants. (And I can't tell you how many pairs of underwear that have gone straight into the trash. I get enough cleaning out nasty clothes with Emma's frequent blow-outs. I think my grandmother would just die if she knew I was throwing out perfectly good underwear.) This has gone on for months, and I am getting just plain sick of it! We have lately been trying to act disappointed to try getting her to feel just a little remorse for having accidents, but we getting literally no reaction from her whatsoever. She just smiles and continues talking about whatever is on her mind, and completely ignores any comments or conversation from us on the topic. We might as well be talking in a different language for all that she acknowledges us.
Has anyone else dealt with a problem like this? Does anyone have any ideas? I have had some people suggest just forcing her to sit on the toilet until she goes. But Aiva is just not the type that you can force to do anything. We've tried sitting her on the toilet with books or a portable DVD-player and a movie, and nothing works. And five minutes after she gets off the toilet, we find her hiding someplace with that guilty look on her face. I have been trying to be patient, but this has been going on for months, and I am so sick of it!!!
7 comments:
Elise; I don't want to freak you out, but from my own personal experience...DO NOT FORCE IT. If she isn't ready, she isn't ready. If she feels pressured to go poop in the potty and not on her own time you can really cause damage. I don't want to get into details here, I would be happy to talk to you in person if you want to call me. But trust me, the long term damage is much worse then just putting a diaper back on her for awhile. I would suggest just putting the diaper back on and then trying again in a few months. Even waiting until she's closer to three. She obviously isn't ready by her signs. Call me really.
How bad does she hate the diaper? Maybe if you put diapers back on her 24/7 she'd be motivated? I haven't dealt with this but it doesn't sound fun. I'm sorry! I know how it is to have a strong-willed little girl...you really can't force them to do anything. Hang in there! Let me know what worked when it finally does (because it will eventually, remember that)!!
My niece had a harder time adjusting to the #2 as well. My mom actually found a book named "every one poops". It is pretty funny. It talks about how all kinds of animals poop, mommy poops, and even you poop too. It is a cute way to discuss it. the first time my niece pooped in the toilet was while reading that book.
I bet you could find it at the library! Good luck!
I have no advice for you yet cuz we are just starting the process, but I'm more inclined to say to not force it and let her do it on her own.
Hi Elise. Aiva sounds just like Corbin when we were going through that process. He refused to poop in the toilet for 4 mos after he was completely trained with pees. He got to the point that he would put on his own pullup to do the duty in that and then let me change it. Like everyone says you can't force them and they won't do it if they aren't ready. I know total cliche but so true. Just back off the poop thing for a while, she can master the peeing. Offer her a diaper or pullup in the meantime. You definately don't need the added stress. I finally told Corbin that I wasn't buying any more pullups and he was going to have to go in the toilet. On the day we ran out of pullups he held his poops from breakfast to dinner. Then ran to the toilet and was so excited that he finally did it. Boy--so were we!! It'll happen, just be patient.
This will sounds like all the other comments, but I thought I would throw in my opinion too. I remember #2 being a challenge for kaden. He would do the same thing, we knew he had to go, he knew he had to go and he would run and hide (usually in my pantry)and do his thing.
Absolutely refusing to go on the potty. As hard as it is to accept you really cannot make someone use the toliet, especially a 2 year old :) Just let her use the diaper, she will go when she is ready I promise!! Just keep in mind that it's not like she is going to be 5 and going to school in a diaper although it feels that way, there is no rush it will come.
Don't feel too bad Elise. It sounds like you have done everything that you can. With Jacob, he took forever to actually be ready to go and went #2 long before he went #1. We bribed him with toys - he has quite the collection of rubber snakes and sea creatures now. Sounds like you have tried that too. I tried underwear for a while with him and realized that it was just a fight neither of us was ready for - every couple of hours - so we went back to diapers for another 6 months. When he was ready he just did it and that was all, for the most part. I'm sorry - I know that's not encouraging. Good luck sister!!!
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