I guess I just don't have my stuff together. I think I ask for help from "the moms" more often than anyone I've ever seen. And for this, I appologize to all of you! I guess that I just figure that for every problem that I have, the answer is out there in one of your brains. So this is another one of my "pick your brains" post.
I have debated for a while on posting about this, because it would have to begin with an embarassing admission. I think this is an issue for many of us, but it's hard to admit it "publicly." Here it is: I am . . . not a clean person. I'm not a DIRTY person either, but keeping a clean home does NOT come second nature to me. I remember when Aiva was a baby I had a good schedule down and my house was quite tidy almost all of the time, and I thought to myself, "MAN, I am good at this MOM-STUFF!" And then . . . baby #2 came. I feel so incredibly overwhelmed. I cannot stay on top of the house. I feel like I could go around and around in circles all day long, and the mess would reproduce the second I turn my back on a clean room. If I decide to take it easy for a day, it looks like a bomb has gone off in my house. Not kidding. Come over on a Monday morning after I've taken Sunday "off."
I think to stay on top of it all I would have to be cleaning sun-up until sun-down. But I can't do that. I'm just being honest here, ladies. I'm coming out of the messy closet! I'm admitting it - I need help! I need to play with my kids. I need time to eat. I need to have my daily devotional time. I want to make time to exersize. I need to craft every now and then!! I've decided that I really, really need a cleaning schedule to keep me on track.
I need the feeling of peace that a clean home provides. I know that the Spirit is always stronger when you aren't hankered down with clutter. I want to feel pride in knowing that I can be a good steward over what is mine.
So . . . I know that a lot of moms struggle with keeping on top of the mess when you have children. But I also figure that there's a few of you out there for whom cleaning house comes more naturally. I'm not saying that your house is "PERFECT". What I am saying is that your house has that general "feeling" of cleanliness most of the time, even when it is a bit cluttered. So I'm asking: What are your secrets??? Do you have a schedule? What is it??? Do you have a magic fairy I can borrow???
So now I'm a bit embarassed, especially because I'm sure now everyone in my ward that reads this is going to stop by on Monday just to get a peek at Sister Cole's messy house. Again . . . I'm not a complete slob. But it's a struggle for me. I'm trying so hard to be a clean person. But I need a system. I need to organize my life to organize my home. If you have a system . . . please share. :)
5 comments:
Elise - I totally know what you mean!!!! I thought I knew all the secrets after I had RJ...and then I had Ari...and then we added a third...and finally - almost two years later I feel like I have an idea on what to do and how to do things around my house. I seriously bawled a ton after K was born. Most of that was postpartum stuff which only made the messiness seem more insurmountable. Oh, heavens!! I so know what you mean. I was whining to my mom the other day about the sad state of my baseboards (which I am just now noticing in two years), she said she had no idea what to do as she cleaned them every week when she vacuumed and pulled all the furniture away from the walls. WHAT??!?!? Yes. That's how her mother and grandmother cleaned and so that's how my mother cleaned. I'm just too tired.
Anyway, what's my secret? Flylady. Baby steps and Flylady. Do not get overwhelmed. She has a little system down for small things to do each day - she doesn't want you cleaning like crazy and she doesn't want you feeling guilty or that there's some sort of "right" way to do it. Baby steps. Don't try to do it all at once (like me who thought I knew better, ahem, and crashed). Baby steps.
I love her. I have been using her system since 2000 sometimes as a whole and sometimes in part. Sometimes all I can do all day long is shine my sink. It sounds ridiculous, but I promise it works. Just don't get overwhelmed. Her system is for those starting out and those who have been using it for awhile. Just take it one step at a time and ignore the other steps until you have that first step down.
(Do you know this is the lecture I'm really giving to myself right now and not so much you? I keep forgetting it and try to ZOOM through my house in a frenzy and it leaves me pooped and ornery. So this is just a little bit of Jill's lecture to herself. Sorry to go off here.)
Anyway, I love her. She has helped me not fall apart on so many occasions.
And don't be embarrassed. I bet you'd be surprised how many 'Sunday bests' you see instead of the 'Tuesday worsts'. Everyone has both.
Thank you for being honest and making me feel very much at home and in good company. Love you.
I totally know how you feel! I wouldn't be worried that we are going to judge you, because I don't think anyone can truly have that perfectly clean house. There are days that I would be absolutely horrified if someone just dropped in!
I think what has worked for me is finding the things that I felt were most important to get done on a daily basis. I make sure the bed is made because no matter how messy the room is, it makes it look SO much cleaner. I try to always just wipe down my bathroom sinks and clean up after I get ready. In my house, the living room is the only room you can see from the door, so I just make sure that is always cleaned up and then the kitchen is my #1 priority. I just try to make sure I keep up with it so my house doesn't stink. If I can't get to anything else, oh well.
I have made a daily chore list for myself. Each day I do one load of laundry from start to finish. Then I picked another chore for the day, such as vacuuming or cleaning out the fridge or mopping. Make a list of all your chores and even them out throughout the week.
Another thing I have found that works really well is I have a basket downstairs that is for things that need to go upstairs. Whenever clutter builds up downstairs that should be upstairs, I just throw it in that basket and when I get the chance I take it up and put it away.
Fly lady is a good website to look at, but just don't sign up to get emails! You will be getting an email every 15 minutes and it is kind of annoying. I occasionally get on her website just to get ideas and sometimes follow the zone cleaning for the week.
I think, though, once you have kids, you can never truly keep up. I have had to really accept that I will never have that clean house that I used to. I hope this helps a little!
(Ditto to the Flylady email comment. I get the daily digests with all the reminders in one. You can also ask for no emails, just to read the info on the web.)
The biggest thing that helps me keep a clean house is to have days off. I always do laundry on Wednesdays and Thursdays, so I know I will be home and those are the days I try to do most the deep cleaning. Mondays are always a mess from the weekend so it's just a "pick up day" not a cleaning day. And typically Tuesdays and Fridays are my break days. Days I know I don't expect myself to clean but to play with my kids and get out of the house and do something fun. It's a never ending process, and that's what makes it so over-whelming. Kids that make messes while you're cleaning don't help either :)
Oh! And I forgot, my biggest secret. Invite neighbors/friends/family over for dinner OFTEN. I do this because I love having people over but my main purpose is because it's a HUGE motivator to deep clean the house. I honestly sometimes invite people over in the evening just because I need an excuse to get moving.
Um...yeah...come to my house as often as you'd like, and you'll feel tons better about your house. My walls/floors/bathrooms/sinks/etc. hardly ever get the attention they need. I'd rather keep toys and dishes put away...and sometimes that doesn't even happen. Like you, if I take a day off, my house is a war zone. Pretty much I find it impossible to have a clean house even most of the time. I'm interested in reading up on flylady now. Thanks for letting me know I'm not the only one that feels this way!
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